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maybe I'll put on more pink lipstick and we'll just remind ourselves how good you look in pink
Don't you think that's kind of boring if I did it in your sleep?
rather have you awake
rather have you awake
and this is why you can get a lap dance for free
You can't talk like that when we're not together
it's not fair
it's not fair
it makes me want to hug and kiss you and I can't
nah I made a scene with him so he got embarrassed and left
nah I made a scene with him so he got embarrassed and left
( with his hands still raw from clawing away at whatever he could, he bit down on his lower lip and stared deep into her eyes as she spoke. while adam was still reeling from such a traumatic and intense experience, he nearly felt compelled to cry tears of joys. for many days and nights he could only replay their interactions together in his mind. the sound of her voice in the morning, the way she rolled out of bed to go brush her teeth, the scent of her shampoo, and the way she messaged him constantlyโ
all of these moments allowed him to remain sane during such a difficult time in his life, in the darkness of what was to be his grave. so to finally hear her here and see her left him feeling that he had been given a second chance at life. he wasn't going to mess this up. )
I love you too Maria....I don't want to talk to the cops just yet....but I'll tell you what happened to me because it will explain something I want to ask you.
( was it perhaps too soon? too fast to ask her to commit to him so quickly? maybe it was selfish and stupid, but he was driven to not let his life go to waste anymore. )
all of these moments allowed him to remain sane during such a difficult time in his life, in the darkness of what was to be his grave. so to finally hear her here and see her left him feeling that he had been given a second chance at life. he wasn't going to mess this up. )
I love you too Maria....I don't want to talk to the cops just yet....but I'll tell you what happened to me because it will explain something I want to ask you.
( was it perhaps too soon? too fast to ask her to commit to him so quickly? maybe it was selfish and stupid, but he was driven to not let his life go to waste anymore. )
[the man she met is not the man in front of her. Maria could not imagine what he went through but she knew it was bad. Adam looked like somebody who had seen too much, been through too much, and his body showed all the signs. yet she knew she would stay with him. help him heal. he may never be the same man again but Maria didn't care. he was Adam and she loved him. that was all that mattered.
so she simply nods.]
Tell me, I'm here. Tell me as much as you want and need to. I won't ask for anything you don't feel ready to tell.
[doctors had told her not to push him for details (as if she would have) because they said he needed rest. but Adam knew himself and what he needed. if he wanted to tell her things, get them off his chest, she would listen.]
so she simply nods.]
Tell me, I'm here. Tell me as much as you want and need to. I won't ask for anything you don't feel ready to tell.
[doctors had told her not to push him for details (as if she would have) because they said he needed rest. but Adam knew himself and what he needed. if he wanted to tell her things, get them off his chest, she would listen.]
( it was through her effortless care and affections towards him that helped him survive that entire ordeal with some semblance of mental stability. he spent so many days alone in the dark, eyes straining to visualize the moments he had together. there were a few regrets such as never telling her in person that he loved her, or not making more of an effort to show her how much she had come to mean to him in their time together. it was through that stubborn desire to show her his feelings that helped him surviveโ
the hunger, the pain, the loneliness, the more haunting scenes before him. he wasn't quite sure how much he should share with her in fear of traumatizing her in turn, so he remained silent for a brief moment, debating in his mind the best approach.
finally with a shaky breath he turned to maria and nodded in return to her. )
I'm going to tell you everything because I....I survived thinking of you. Wanting to come home to you and our cat, and wanting a future with you. If you want to leave me after all of this, fine but you need to know what happened.
( 'so that you don't think I just abandoned you', he thought before he sat up a bitโ small whine escaping his lips from the pain. )
That serial killer Jigsaw, that fucker....he got me. He kidnapped because I was taking photos of that doctor who was cheating on his wife, the one I told you about. He locked me in a room with him, chained our ankles and left hacksaws by our feet. He told me that I had to prove I had the will to live, that I wasn't just some voyeur living through other people.
( he paused briefly, only to gauge maria's reaction. when it seemed like she was listening and following along, he continued on. )
He stuck the doctor in there because he was cheating on his wife and kinda pined us against each other....I had to tell him I knew who he was and what he had done. The sick bastard, Jigsaw made us go through a series of trials that revealed more information but ultimately the only way to escape was by using the hacksaw....
the hunger, the pain, the loneliness, the more haunting scenes before him. he wasn't quite sure how much he should share with her in fear of traumatizing her in turn, so he remained silent for a brief moment, debating in his mind the best approach.
finally with a shaky breath he turned to maria and nodded in return to her. )
I'm going to tell you everything because I....I survived thinking of you. Wanting to come home to you and our cat, and wanting a future with you. If you want to leave me after all of this, fine but you need to know what happened.
( 'so that you don't think I just abandoned you', he thought before he sat up a bitโ small whine escaping his lips from the pain. )
That serial killer Jigsaw, that fucker....he got me. He kidnapped because I was taking photos of that doctor who was cheating on his wife, the one I told you about. He locked me in a room with him, chained our ankles and left hacksaws by our feet. He told me that I had to prove I had the will to live, that I wasn't just some voyeur living through other people.
( he paused briefly, only to gauge maria's reaction. when it seemed like she was listening and following along, he continued on. )
He stuck the doctor in there because he was cheating on his wife and kinda pined us against each other....I had to tell him I knew who he was and what he had done. The sick bastard, Jigsaw made us go through a series of trials that revealed more information but ultimately the only way to escape was by using the hacksaw....
[Maria listens and does not stop. as the doctors had told her, she did not push. she let Adam talk as he needed to, at the pace he needed. Maria wasn't going to expect a full story even. it was a surprise to her that he was talking as much as he was.
and as his story goes on, the dread of what he went through rises. there was a brief moment of pure joy in knowing he thought of her even then but it is tainted with horror. it upsets her to know this is what he had to go through. that goddamn lunatic had gotten her Adam. for what seemed like an insanely mindless reason. Maria could understand that others may look down on Adam's line of work, she knew Adam wasn't happy with it himself, but it seemed ridiculous to take him for that. if she ever got her hands on this Jigsaw...
when he mentions the hacksaw, her stomach plummets and her mind jumps to the obvious answer: Jigsaw had wanted them to remove a foot. but Adam had both of his. though it was obvious he'd been hurt on top of the malnutrition and other horrors his person had gone through.
Maria doesn't want to say anything, afraid of talking too much and having Adam go too quiet. right now seemed like he had to say a lot so with her eyes, she urges him that she is listening. and he can continue. she won't stop listening.]
and as his story goes on, the dread of what he went through rises. there was a brief moment of pure joy in knowing he thought of her even then but it is tainted with horror. it upsets her to know this is what he had to go through. that goddamn lunatic had gotten her Adam. for what seemed like an insanely mindless reason. Maria could understand that others may look down on Adam's line of work, she knew Adam wasn't happy with it himself, but it seemed ridiculous to take him for that. if she ever got her hands on this Jigsaw...
when he mentions the hacksaw, her stomach plummets and her mind jumps to the obvious answer: Jigsaw had wanted them to remove a foot. but Adam had both of his. though it was obvious he'd been hurt on top of the malnutrition and other horrors his person had gone through.
Maria doesn't want to say anything, afraid of talking too much and having Adam go too quiet. right now seemed like he had to say a lot so with her eyes, she urges him that she is listening. and he can continue. she won't stop listening.]
( like a nervous habit, the words came fumbling out of his mouth without restraint or hesitation but as soon as he said the word 'hacksaw', he found himself breathing heavy as the memories of that pinnacle turning point flooded into his mind. he closed his mouth, lips pressing tightly as he looked at maria with wide eyes. she was there before him but his mind refused to let him see her properlyโ
instead the vision of lawrence finally breaking down and saying he needed to get to his family began to fill his vision. he reached for the hacksaw and began to cut off his own foot to escape. adam remembered the blood, the screaming that seemed to either come from him or the doctor, and how the man had dragged himself across the floor to get to him. his hands had reached out to adam to comfort him some, promising to come back for him.
but he never did come back. )
I.....I uh.....I can't. I can't tell you what happened next. Not yet.
( his breathing started to become heavier, hands fumbling as he attempted to reach out for her, but it was clear that whatever was running in his mind had left him a nervous and worried wreck. )
instead the vision of lawrence finally breaking down and saying he needed to get to his family began to fill his vision. he reached for the hacksaw and began to cut off his own foot to escape. adam remembered the blood, the screaming that seemed to either come from him or the doctor, and how the man had dragged himself across the floor to get to him. his hands had reached out to adam to comfort him some, promising to come back for him.
but he never did come back. )
I.....I uh.....I can't. I can't tell you what happened next. Not yet.
( his breathing started to become heavier, hands fumbling as he attempted to reach out for her, but it was clear that whatever was running in his mind had left him a nervous and worried wreck. )
[Maria is quick to comfort him, her hands reaching to hold his. she squeezes them softly, a barely there touch at all. the man in front of her looks like he could break so easily if she wasn't careful.]
You talk when you want to. I don't expect you to tell me everything right now. Or tomorrow. Or even a month from now. It doesn't matter to me when you do it. If you ever. All that matters to me is you're here with me right now. [and she meant every word of that. Maria had been terrified of losing him and to simply see him? that was all that she needed.]
I love you so much. You didn't deserve this. Nothing you ever could have done made you deserving of that. I want you to know.
You talk when you want to. I don't expect you to tell me everything right now. Or tomorrow. Or even a month from now. It doesn't matter to me when you do it. If you ever. All that matters to me is you're here with me right now. [and she meant every word of that. Maria had been terrified of losing him and to simply see him? that was all that she needed.]
I love you so much. You didn't deserve this. Nothing you ever could have done made you deserving of that. I want you to know.
( any other man would reel at the thought of being handled as if he were a fragile toy, about to fall apart from a simple glance. to a man like adam who had gone through something so brutal and torturous, to find the woman he loved and gave him hope actually here by his sideโ
well it left him genuinely feeling loved. he closed his eyes as she spoke, squeezing far tighter than he should [almost to the point where he was seeing stars], but it was all he could do to keep from falling apart. to avoid having a breakdown from the sights he was forced to see...to being abandoned without care by a man he actually went out of his way to help and comfort.
when it was his turn to lose his shit in that room well, he had no one. )
I love you too that's why I.....
( and like before, he had the worst timing and yet he couldn't help it. he needed to make his true feelings and intentions known just in case he didn't survive the night. )
I want you to be my wife. In that room I realized I've been fucking wasting my time, wasting yours dragging my feet around being so terrified to tell you my feelings. But you're actually here now, you waited for me. You're the only person I can trust.
So I want us to be real, official....whatever the fuck we want to call it. I just don't want to waste anymore time.
well it left him genuinely feeling loved. he closed his eyes as she spoke, squeezing far tighter than he should [almost to the point where he was seeing stars], but it was all he could do to keep from falling apart. to avoid having a breakdown from the sights he was forced to see...to being abandoned without care by a man he actually went out of his way to help and comfort.
when it was his turn to lose his shit in that room well, he had no one. )
I love you too that's why I.....
( and like before, he had the worst timing and yet he couldn't help it. he needed to make his true feelings and intentions known just in case he didn't survive the night. )
I want you to be my wife. In that room I realized I've been fucking wasting my time, wasting yours dragging my feet around being so terrified to tell you my feelings. But you're actually here now, you waited for me. You're the only person I can trust.
So I want us to be real, official....whatever the fuck we want to call it. I just don't want to waste anymore time.
[Maria had fantasized about what their future might look like. perhaps others might find it ridiculous because of how quick she had been to jump to the idea. a serious relationship had been on her mind even before he'd officially asked her out. maybe this was why men had often found her off-putting. all of her emotions were always so big, too overwhelming.
until Adam. who had his own big emotions though he had very good reason for his. Maria could only imagine what facing death had done to him, the fear and all of the regrets that must have been rattling around in his mind as each second ticked by. as Adam thought he got closer and closer to death. Maria couldn't even begin to understand what that would be like. all she could do was sympathize with him and let him know she was here for him. but the fact remained that what Adam went through was so unique and had made him realize so many things...
like this. again, it's not the time or place. he's just gotten free and he's in such bad shape. Maria isn't even entirely sure if this is how he feels because of how close he came to death but she doesn't doubt it's genuine. that he wants her to be his. Maria knows that Adam must want it as much as she wants him and it does make her heart soar in a way she never thought somebody could make her feel.]
At least you're not asking through text. But I didn't think I'd be proposed to in a hospital room. Guess I should count my blessings. [it's a small joke because she thinks he might like it. she leans in to kiss him softly.] I want to be your wife. I've always wanted that, babe. Just to be yours. I knew I was in it for the long haul with you. I don't know if now is the time to do anything about this but I want you to know I feel the same. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
until Adam. who had his own big emotions though he had very good reason for his. Maria could only imagine what facing death had done to him, the fear and all of the regrets that must have been rattling around in his mind as each second ticked by. as Adam thought he got closer and closer to death. Maria couldn't even begin to understand what that would be like. all she could do was sympathize with him and let him know she was here for him. but the fact remained that what Adam went through was so unique and had made him realize so many things...
like this. again, it's not the time or place. he's just gotten free and he's in such bad shape. Maria isn't even entirely sure if this is how he feels because of how close he came to death but she doesn't doubt it's genuine. that he wants her to be his. Maria knows that Adam must want it as much as she wants him and it does make her heart soar in a way she never thought somebody could make her feel.]
At least you're not asking through text. But I didn't think I'd be proposed to in a hospital room. Guess I should count my blessings. [it's a small joke because she thinks he might like it. she leans in to kiss him softly.] I want to be your wife. I've always wanted that, babe. Just to be yours. I knew I was in it for the long haul with you. I don't know if now is the time to do anything about this but I want you to know I feel the same. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
( it's never the right time or place for adam, at least when it came to love. he fumbled over his words and emotions, stumbling before their first sexual encounter had come to fruition and yet despite being labeled as apathetic, weak, a voyeur to other's life, he had pressed on. if life dealt him one defeating blow after another, he'd complain and move on despite it all. it was the same way with mariaโ every time he had opened himself up and expressed what he felt, he was bracing himself for the blow. he'd pick himself back up and move on but today?
right here in this hospital bed, covered in endless bruises, appearance far beyond disheveled and sickly? he wasn't expecting a blow. if she turned him down and found it too much of a burden to now have a partner who was traumatized beyond belief and would take some time to recover, then so be it. at least now he could rub it in that serial killer's [or torturer rather] face. he had won that shitty game and he was now actually proving he valued his life enough to actually try and live it.
as silence filled the air around them, adam gently swallowed down a nervous lump in this throat. he didn't care what her answer was because he would still love and support her regardless. all he had to do now was not pass out before the answer cameโ )
Sorry my timing isn't always the best.
( her joke is matched by his own but soon he fell silent as he felt that kiss rolling in, her answer following behind. he didn't move much for now, simply keeping his gaze on her as his future began to brighten up with hope. the darkness that filled it before, the visions of death and torture that seemed to linger were now slowly fading away. )
Really? I uh....you know when you first approached me at the club I thought you might have been messing with me. Do you know how many times I thought about that night while I was trapped? I kept thanking God that I had the courage to approach you and ask you out you know? I never fucking thought you know that we'd be here.
( his expression finally did seem to improve a bitโ in fact he was this close to telling her to bring the paperwork to the hospital. he didn't care, he just wanted to do it before anything else happened. )
I'm the luckiest guy alive really....and Mr. Whiskers is going to be our ring bearer okay?
right here in this hospital bed, covered in endless bruises, appearance far beyond disheveled and sickly? he wasn't expecting a blow. if she turned him down and found it too much of a burden to now have a partner who was traumatized beyond belief and would take some time to recover, then so be it. at least now he could rub it in that serial killer's [or torturer rather] face. he had won that shitty game and he was now actually proving he valued his life enough to actually try and live it.
as silence filled the air around them, adam gently swallowed down a nervous lump in this throat. he didn't care what her answer was because he would still love and support her regardless. all he had to do now was not pass out before the answer cameโ )
Sorry my timing isn't always the best.
( her joke is matched by his own but soon he fell silent as he felt that kiss rolling in, her answer following behind. he didn't move much for now, simply keeping his gaze on her as his future began to brighten up with hope. the darkness that filled it before, the visions of death and torture that seemed to linger were now slowly fading away. )
Really? I uh....you know when you first approached me at the club I thought you might have been messing with me. Do you know how many times I thought about that night while I was trapped? I kept thanking God that I had the courage to approach you and ask you out you know? I never fucking thought you know that we'd be here.
( his expression finally did seem to improve a bitโ in fact he was this close to telling her to bring the paperwork to the hospital. he didn't care, he just wanted to do it before anything else happened. )
I'm the luckiest guy alive really....and Mr. Whiskers is going to be our ring bearer okay?
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