( with his hands still raw from clawing away at whatever he could, he bit down on his lower lip and stared deep into her eyes as she spoke. while adam was still reeling from such a traumatic and intense experience, he nearly felt compelled to cry tears of joys. for many days and nights he could only replay their interactions together in his mind. the sound of her voice in the morning, the way she rolled out of bed to go brush her teeth, the scent of her shampoo, and the way she messaged him constantlyโ
all of these moments allowed him to remain sane during such a difficult time in his life, in the darkness of what was to be his grave. so to finally hear her here and see her left him feeling that he had been given a second chance at life. he wasn't going to mess this up. )
I love you too Maria....I don't want to talk to the cops just yet....but I'll tell you what happened to me because it will explain something I want to ask you.
( was it perhaps too soon? too fast to ask her to commit to him so quickly? maybe it was selfish and stupid, but he was driven to not let his life go to waste anymore. )
[the man she met is not the man in front of her. Maria could not imagine what he went through but she knew it was bad. Adam looked like somebody who had seen too much, been through too much, and his body showed all the signs. yet she knew she would stay with him. help him heal. he may never be the same man again but Maria didn't care. he was Adam and she loved him. that was all that mattered.
so she simply nods.]
Tell me, I'm here. Tell me as much as you want and need to. I won't ask for anything you don't feel ready to tell.
[doctors had told her not to push him for details (as if she would have) because they said he needed rest. but Adam knew himself and what he needed. if he wanted to tell her things, get them off his chest, she would listen.]
( it was through her effortless care and affections towards him that helped him survive that entire ordeal with some semblance of mental stability. he spent so many days alone in the dark, eyes straining to visualize the moments he had together. there were a few regrets such as never telling her in person that he loved her, or not making more of an effort to show her how much she had come to mean to him in their time together. it was through that stubborn desire to show her his feelings that helped him surviveโ
the hunger, the pain, the loneliness, the more haunting scenes before him. he wasn't quite sure how much he should share with her in fear of traumatizing her in turn, so he remained silent for a brief moment, debating in his mind the best approach.
finally with a shaky breath he turned to maria and nodded in return to her. )
I'm going to tell you everything because I....I survived thinking of you. Wanting to come home to you and our cat, and wanting a future with you. If you want to leave me after all of this, fine but you need to know what happened.
('so that you don't think I just abandoned you', he thought before he sat up a bitโ small whine escaping his lips from the pain. )
That serial killer Jigsaw, that fucker....he got me. He kidnapped because I was taking photos of that doctor who was cheating on his wife, the one I told you about. He locked me in a room with him, chained our ankles and left hacksaws by our feet. He told me that I had to prove I had the will to live, that I wasn't just some voyeur living through other people.
( he paused briefly, only to gauge maria's reaction. when it seemed like she was listening and following along, he continued on. )
He stuck the doctor in there because he was cheating on his wife and kinda pined us against each other....I had to tell him I knew who he was and what he had done. The sick bastard, Jigsaw made us go through a series of trials that revealed more information but ultimately the only way to escape was by using the hacksaw....
[Maria listens and does not stop. as the doctors had told her, she did not push. she let Adam talk as he needed to, at the pace he needed. Maria wasn't going to expect a full story even. it was a surprise to her that he was talking as much as he was.
and as his story goes on, the dread of what he went through rises. there was a brief moment of pure joy in knowing he thought of her even then but it is tainted with horror. it upsets her to know this is what he had to go through. that goddamn lunatic had gotten her Adam. for what seemed like an insanely mindless reason. Maria could understand that others may look down on Adam's line of work, she knew Adam wasn't happy with it himself, but it seemed ridiculous to take him for that. if she ever got her hands on this Jigsaw...
when he mentions the hacksaw, her stomach plummets and her mind jumps to the obvious answer: Jigsaw had wanted them to remove a foot. but Adam had both of his. though it was obvious he'd been hurt on top of the malnutrition and other horrors his person had gone through.
Maria doesn't want to say anything, afraid of talking too much and having Adam go too quiet. right now seemed like he had to say a lot so with her eyes, she urges him that she is listening. and he can continue. she won't stop listening.]
( like a nervous habit, the words came fumbling out of his mouth without restraint or hesitation but as soon as he said the word 'hacksaw', he found himself breathing heavy as the memories of that pinnacle turning point flooded into his mind. he closed his mouth, lips pressing tightly as he looked at maria with wide eyes. she was there before him but his mind refused to let him see her properlyโ
instead the vision of lawrence finally breaking down and saying he needed to get to his family began to fill his vision. he reached for the hacksaw and began to cut off his own foot to escape. adam remembered the blood, the screaming that seemed to either come from him or the doctor, and how the man had dragged himself across the floor to get to him. his hands had reached out to adam to comfort him some, promising to come back for him.
but he never did come back. )
I.....I uh.....I can't. I can't tell you what happened next. Not yet.
( his breathing started to become heavier, hands fumbling as he attempted to reach out for her, but it was clear that whatever was running in his mind had left him a nervous and worried wreck. )
[Maria is quick to comfort him, her hands reaching to hold his. she squeezes them softly, a barely there touch at all. the man in front of her looks like he could break so easily if she wasn't careful.]
You talk when you want to. I don't expect you to tell me everything right now. Or tomorrow. Or even a month from now. It doesn't matter to me when you do it. If you ever. All that matters to me is you're here with me right now. [and she meant every word of that. Maria had been terrified of losing him and to simply see him? that was all that she needed.]
I love you so much. You didn't deserve this. Nothing you ever could have done made you deserving of that. I want you to know.
( any other man would reel at the thought of being handled as if he were a fragile toy, about to fall apart from a simple glance. to a man like adam who had gone through something so brutal and torturous, to find the woman he loved and gave him hope actually here by his sideโ
well it left him genuinely feeling loved. he closed his eyes as she spoke, squeezing far tighter than he should [almost to the point where he was seeing stars], but it was all he could do to keep from falling apart. to avoid having a breakdown from the sights he was forced to see...to being abandoned without care by a man he actually went out of his way to help and comfort.
when it was his turn to lose his shit in that room well, he had no one. )
I love you too that's why I.....
( and like before, he had the worst timing and yet he couldn't help it. he needed to make his true feelings and intentions known just in case he didn't survive the night. )
I want you to be my wife. In that room I realized I've been fucking wasting my time, wasting yours dragging my feet around being so terrified to tell you my feelings. But you're actually here now, you waited for me. You're the only person I can trust.
So I want us to be real, official....whatever the fuck we want to call it. I just don't want to waste anymore time.
[Maria had fantasized about what their future might look like. perhaps others might find it ridiculous because of how quick she had been to jump to the idea. a serious relationship had been on her mind even before he'd officially asked her out. maybe this was why men had often found her off-putting. all of her emotions were always so big, too overwhelming.
until Adam. who had his own big emotions though he had very good reason for his. Maria could only imagine what facing death had done to him, the fear and all of the regrets that must have been rattling around in his mind as each second ticked by. as Adam thought he got closer and closer to death. Maria couldn't even begin to understand what that would be like. all she could do was sympathize with him and let him know she was here for him. but the fact remained that what Adam went through was so unique and had made him realize so many things...
like this. again, it's not the time or place. he's just gotten free and he's in such bad shape. Maria isn't even entirely sure if this is how he feels because of how close he came to death but she doesn't doubt it's genuine. that he wants her to be his. Maria knows that Adam must want it as much as she wants him and it does make her heart soar in a way she never thought somebody could make her feel.]
At least you're not asking through text. But I didn't think I'd be proposed to in a hospital room. Guess I should count my blessings. [it's a small joke because she thinks he might like it. she leans in to kiss him softly.] I want to be your wife. I've always wanted that, babe. Just to be yours. I knew I was in it for the long haul with you. I don't know if now is the time to do anything about this but I want you to know I feel the same. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
( it's never the right time or place for adam, at least when it came to love. he fumbled over his words and emotions, stumbling before their first sexual encounter had come to fruition and yet despite being labeled as apathetic, weak, a voyeur to other's life, he had pressed on. if life dealt him one defeating blow after another, he'd complain and move on despite it all. it was the same way with mariaโ every time he had opened himself up and expressed what he felt, he was bracing himself for the blow. he'd pick himself back up and move on but today?
right here in this hospital bed, covered in endless bruises, appearance far beyond disheveled and sickly? he wasn't expecting a blow. if she turned him down and found it too much of a burden to now have a partner who was traumatized beyond belief and would take some time to recover, then so be it. at least now he could rub it in that serial killer's [or torturer rather] face. he had won that shitty game and he was now actually proving he valued his life enough to actually try and live it.
as silence filled the air around them, adam gently swallowed down a nervous lump in this throat. he didn't care what her answer was because he would still love and support her regardless. all he had to do now was not pass out before the answer cameโ )
Sorry my timing isn't always the best.
( her joke is matched by his own but soon he fell silent as he felt that kiss rolling in, her answer following behind. he didn't move much for now, simply keeping his gaze on her as his future began to brighten up with hope. the darkness that filled it before, the visions of death and torture that seemed to linger were now slowly fading away. )
Really? I uh....you know when you first approached me at the club I thought you might have been messing with me. Do you know how many times I thought about that night while I was trapped? I kept thanking God that I had the courage to approach you and ask you out you know? I never fucking thought you know that we'd be here.
( his expression finally did seem to improve a bitโ in fact he was this close to telling her to bring the paperwork to the hospital. he didn't care, he just wanted to do it before anything else happened. )
I'm the luckiest guy alive really....and Mr. Whiskers is going to be our ring bearer okay?
Do you know how many times I thought about the first night we met? How glad I was that I went to you? [Maria wouldn't tell him that what had made her choose him was that he seemed the most sober. not right now, anyway. maybe never. it wouldn't be fair, she thought. it took away from how important that night had been for both of them. they both had needed each other and no matter the reason for why she had gone to him, it didn't matter. meeting Adam still felt like fate.]
We didn't know it then but I was yours as soon as we spoke. And you were mine. I consider myself just as lucky as you. Someone to accept me, all my text messages, and how you don't mind that I can't calm down when I love you so much. [so many men had always found her annoying when she did that. always a matter of liking them more than they cared for her. or just wanting sex from her. Maria had never thought she would find someone like Adam, who seemed to view her as some kind of angel that graced his life. how the police had treated her, talking down to her because she was a stripper; that had always been what she was used to.
there was no way Maria would have given up on him and nothing was changing that even now.]
I don't know how you make a cat a ring bearer but we'll figure it out. He's missed you too, you know.
( in that moment as he sat up there in the hospital bed he looked deep into her eyes and basked in the moment the two were sharing. from the soft roughness of her voice, the way she said those words and how they seemed to swim in his head, all he could do was smile at her softly. he was more than sure, deep in the back of his mind the reason why she might have approached himโ he wasn't that into the dancers, kept to himself, and was mostly there to drink away the loneliness and stress of his job. at the end of the day their thoughts were mutual; it didn't matter.
what mattered was the outcome of their meeting and it was here in this moment, free from being close to death that he felt grateful that she approached him first. he probably wouldn't have at all and not because of her profession or anything; in that moment he just knew rejection was always waiting him.
not now though, there was none of that. )
That's because I love you so much too. It makes my day seeing all your silly thoughts...I kept thinking about them there.
( in that room where he was being held prisoner of course. )
Crazy thing about fate right? I couldn't in a million years imagine that uh....we'd really be here talking about marriage after that first hello.
( it was cheesy in a way really but that's what he needed now when his mind and body were so fragile. )
Did he? Fuck...( and don't mind a tear or two escaping him as he thought about his cat. dejected and broken much like he was now when he found himโ adam had been the only one to give the poor guy a chance and now it seemed the tables were turned. maria was the one saving adam now. )
I missed you both so much really. I'm never letting either of you go even if I get taken kicking and screaming again.
[it really didn't matter why things had happened that night. certainly her reasons for why she had talked to Adam were not what stayed in mind when she looked back on it. no, it was simply Adam that she thought of. their talk, how cute she had thought he was, and how she liked he'd worked up so much nerve to ask her out on a proper date. something Maria now understood to mean a lot, given his trust issues. all of that mattered more to her than anything else.
and it made her happy to know that he could love her despite how clingy she knew she was at time. desperate to be reminded that he liked her, liked all of her thoughts, and didn't mind she needed that. most of the men she had been involved with had never been able to stand it. Adam was different.]
I didn't think so either. And there's probably some rule for how long you're supposed to wait but I don't care about that. [he could have asked her before he disappeared and she would have said yes.] When you know, you know, right? [and she knew. she always had.]
You think we're letting you go? Listen you thought I was clingy before, I'm not letting you out of my sight even if you tell me I'm annoying you. I don't care. Mr. Whiskers is your guard cat at this point. And he probably won't want to be leaving you either.
( all he could do was smile at her, face swollen and bruised from the injuries he faced but past the ugly reminders of what he was put through, all he could do was bask in the happiness of this moment. what he asked of her was a blind request with no expectations of reciprocation of an actual answer anytime soon. with her saying yes, his heart felt healed for onceโ all of the angst and bitterness he had towards the world was quelled right then and there, and even if he was still a bit angry with jigsaw, he couldn't help but thank him in a weird way.
he certainly would have gone a darker path if it weren't for that wake up call in reality. he would have found a way to ruin things with maria, he's sure of it, led to them breaking up and another cycle of depression and apathy for him. instead he had the courage now to tell her how he felt and what he wanted, and as she affirmed her love for him, he looked at her with eyes full of love and passion. )
When have I ever told you that you were annoying me? I love all the attention you give me.
( certainly far more private and personal than the attention she gave to customersโ but as they sat there, nurses began to fill the room, noticing the change in his heartbeat [excitement from what they had discussed] and ushered maria out in order to bring in the police. jigsaw was hot on their trail, and adam was a new key witness for them to prod and probe.
โ
a month had passed since adam had crawled his way out of that dark room and made his desperate escape back to the apartment he knew. there were a number of unique changes that occurred in his life after being set free into the world, changes he could have never handled on his own without maria. apart from the police threatening him, accusing him of somehow being compliant in his own abduction given he had taken photos of the other captive, there was a strange popularity surrounding him. he was being contacted for work he had never even considered beforeโ photographing at events such as weddings, escape rooms, being offered a chance to talk about his experience on day-time talk shows, and being asked to call into all kinds of radio stations to talk with other 'survivors' and form some kind of jigsaw survivor group.
what he was focused on now though was his new life with maria, and getting compensation for the ordeal the city and law enforcement put her through. )
Hey babe, can you get me a pack of smokes when you get a chance?
( by now the two had settled into a new apartment with money provided by local charities and organizations. his wounds had mostly healed by now, but his leg still required to be in a cast and he was mostly wobbling around their home with a crutch in hand. the kindness he so rarely saw from humanity was now in full swing, with local organizations offering both help to him and maria, even offering to fund a wedding dress for her upon hearing the news.
currently he was in the kitchen, tv on low towards a news channel talking about jigsaw and his newest kidnappees, a group of former criminals on parole. he watched briefly before turning it off as maria walked in. )
I uh....got the documents faxed over to me right now. If you wanted to go over it but we do need a witness. You said you had a twin sister right? Think she'd come?
[before Adam was taken, they hadn't know each other very long. Maria had had to learn about Adam, get to know him, and it had only been very recent that she thought she did understand him well. and then he was taken and now back, she had a new Adam to relearn. it was still him, sarcastic quips and all. but things had changed. he went through something awful and he needed help more than ever. they went through these new discoveries and Maria helped him traverse through them. all of the attention he was getting, from newspapers to to the talk shows. the attention was exhausting and Maria knew it had to be for him.
but after the terror of what she went through, fearing him lost to her forever and feeling like she had nobody to help her; having so much charity was a reminder that not all was bad. that there was always some good. even if the police were as awful as always, that would probably never change, but they had each other.
the new apartment was definitely an upgrade and even the fact people were offering to help her with a dress. there had been offers to make it this huge extravagant wedding but Maria wasn't interested in that. mostly because if it got any bigger then that would take time and Maria didn't want to wait. part of her was still afraid of him disappearing again and if she didn't do something about this right away then he'd just be gone. that was an irrational fear and she'd definitely gotten a little more clingy, much more worrying if he had to go anywhere by himself.
when she entered where he was, she did hear the new information about Jigsaw's latest victims before Adam turned it off. she hated they still couldn't find him, still didn't stop him. again, the thought entered her mind that if the police had just listened to her then maybe--
but it was a pointless thought to still be so angry over. not when she had Adam, not when he wanted to marry her and was working on it.
she hands him the pack of cigarettes she got for him and kisses his temple.] She'd come, she'd be more than happy to come. Mary helped me with your missing posters. [one of the two people who had helped her, the other being Tom the bartender.]
( in spite of the changes and the perplexing fears, uncertainties that this new life held for them, there was one thing adam was sure of. his paradise was here in this home with maria and his cat. she was everything he could ever want and more, and his ordeal helped me to truly realize that. so even if she felt she was being clingy, needy he didn't view it like that at all. he understood her fears and he was more than relieved that she wanted to be with him more now than ever. truthfully? he was scared as hell too that jigsaw or anyone else would come after him again.
after all, that was the gift being a victim and surviving the game gave him. it made him a target for anyone who either wanted to interview him and get as much of the story as they could, or anyone who wanted to taunt him for his ordeal.
those thoughts and fears were pushed to the side for now though, because as soon as she entered the room, the darkness that loomed from the news was drowned out by the brightness of her arrival. she truly was a bright light in his life. )
Did she? I need to thank her properly and introduce myself.
( he took the pack from her, giving it one tap against the counter, then another before opening it with one hand and flicking a stick out of it into his mouth. for now he nursed it between his lips, thinking how things were now changing between each other.
families to meet one another and proper introductions to be made. judgements to feel and ignore, all of that jazz and while a past version of himself might have scoffed at the idea of such domestic endeavors, now he felt excited about it. )
Feels kinda silly that our first meeting is gonna be 'Hey I'm that dude whose gonna marry your sister and also survived being tortured.'
[Maria did worry that someone would come after Adam. the twisted logic of Jigsaw's games was still confusing to her and she wondered if Adam had truly won his freedom in that psycho's mind. or anybody who wanted to copy him because people did that, didn't they? Maria didn't know if she was just paranoid or what but she thought she had every right to be. that man was still out there, still hurting people, and she worried for Adam's safety.
part of her knew that Adam needed her to worry for him. even if they did never talk about it too much or she made a big show of it, only clung to him, it was good for Adam to know Maria wasn't going anywhere.
as if accepting his proposal hadn't shown just how serious she was about staying with him.]
Hardly, babe. [she rested her head lightly on his shoulder.] Mary's a romantic and she's sweet. I know she's wanted to meet you and kept asking me. [but when was a good time to introduce your traumatized fiancรฉ? there wasn't one and Maria knew Adam needed to have some control as well. the last thing Maria had wanted to do was stress him out all the more.]
( the moment her head came down onto his shoulder, he rubbed his cheek gently against the top of her head much like a cat marking their human up. they had become so close in the time they've been together and everything felt so right between them. there was no need to hold back, even if fear loomed behind them.
as they stood there, he fiddled with the pack of smokes, closing it as he wriggled the smoke already on his lips away from her and towards the opposite end of his mouth. )
Did she?
( it's an old habit from a different time, when he was still insecure and unsure of where things were going with maria, but he couldn't help but be surprised this 'mary' knew about him at all. still he's quick to laugh, placing the pack of smokes on the counter. )
Well I don't want to keep my dear 'sister' waiting for me for very long. Let's do it, before we get married. Besides we need witnesses and I'd rather ask them than take up Oprah on her little 'offer'.
( he was more stressed by all the interviews and grandiose displays of charity and kindness everyone was suddenly showing him. he took it a bit bitterly; angry that they only showed up when he was now known for such a terrible thing, but he also wasn't outright saying now to them. they both needed as much help as they could get given he technically had to retire from his line of work now. )
Uh so....I've never really met any of my girlfriend's families. Should I wear like a suit and tie? Bring flowers? Help me out here future wifey.
[these were the simple moments, where Maria and Adam could enjoy each other's company. where it didn't feel like they had so many things weighing on them and they could simply just be two people who loved each other. wanted to spend time together. Maria thought that Adam needed this just as much.
her head remains on his shoulder as he talks to her.] Fuck Oprah honestly. [or anybody else that interviewed Adam. the publicity was a double-edged sword. it helped in some ways, got their story out there and got Adam help. but she knew it just made him relive his worst moments. the media were like vultures, wanting to pick apart him and his story. it wasn't fair. but until Adam was old news, this was their life.
and Maria wouldn't be leaving him.
though she was also stuck. she was the fiancee of the man who escaped Jigsaw. the first time she tried to work at the bar, it had been a nightmare. certainly didn't help Adam any and so she couldn't work much either. Maria had to figure out what she was going to do for money in her very limited skill set.]
As much as I think you'd be very cute in your suit and tie, I don't think black tie is the style we're going for. Just dress like you always do. Be yourself. Be the man I'm proud to be marrying.
( it was that sassy-wit and sharp tongue of hers that he liked the most. he was far too changed now to say such a thing, but he would have been the first to roll out the middle fingers to her or any other grifter that came moseying about. now he simply laughed, letting maria take charge of such heady attitudes and jokes. )
Alright, old band-tee and jeans, got it.
( he rolled his head to the side a bit, cigarette pushed off to the side of his mouth as he gently rubbed the tip of his nose against her forehead. it seemed they both had similar worries, because soon enough adam was reaching for a package that came in the mail. )
Speaking of, I have something I wanted to discuss with you. It's about this whole Jigsaw and corrupt, shitty cops thing I've been going through. Can we uh...sit in the living room?
[Maria did miss his sarcastic quips and jokes but she knew that after what he went through, he was changed. it didn't change that she loved him. there was still that sarcastic edge to him, even if it had dulled some. it was to be expected.]
That's the man I'm marrying and the man they'll meet.
[she didn't want him to be anybody else. she would love every version of him.
when he takes out the package, she eyes it and there's worry there in her eyes. even if she knew that by marrying Adam, by continuing to stay with him, meant marrying this...it didn't mean she didn't wish it would stop.] Yeah, come on. [she moved to help him get up. just a natural action now.]
Guessing this isn't a fun wedding present, is it? [she jokes as she helps him get to the living room so they can sit.]
( it had dulled but in a good way; he was no longer waxing poetry about how the world was out to get them and how he was a little man being stomped down by the greedy fat cats in wall street. no, instead adam took the time to actually appreciate the little things in life and to find solace in what he had. it was twisted that this was the influence jigsaw had on him but....he supposed it could be worse.
he also had trauma but he'd prefer this. to her movements though, he limped alongside her and made his way into the living room as their cat trailed along, purring against maria's legs before scooting off to the couch. it'd become natural to him too; providing comfort to them both through affection and remaining close. it seemed adam's disappearance had an affect on mr. whiskers as well. )
Well actually here's the funny thing, if I agree to it, it could be.
( this was clearly something serious. once they were in the living room, he fell back onto the couch and let out a soft grunt as he adjusted himself. with the package in his hand, she looked over to maria. )
So here's the thing. I got approached by this lawyer who said he helped this other Jigsaw victim you know? He said the guy's case was fumbled by the cops and he helped get him a good settlement but he had only been missing for a day and ended up having to uh.....well let's say he wasn't injured and left for death for almost a month.
I wanted your opinion on this because it's going to be one hell of a battle. Court visits, gas money, the works. He said this charity would help with the bills until we got our settlement but they can't pay for basic stuff like food or lost wages you know?
[Maria sits on the arm of the couch next to where he was, putting her arm up around him as she looked down at what he had. as she listened, the answer seemed obvious. there was so much Adam was owed for what he went through. nobody had listened to her when she said something was wrong and while Maria's first thought had not been Jigsaw, it seemed obvious now. the police had been wrong and they'd royally fucked up. they must have known they did.
Maria wasn't a legal genius but she thought she knew what an easy win was.
but the problem was this wasn't going to be an easy win now was it? Adam would have to relive how much trauma? and Maria knew she'd be questioned as well. she was part of this as the woman he was marrying, not to mention as the person to report his disappearance. it had been Maria to first notice that Adam was missing and she knew it was easy to point fingers at her. both of their names would be slung through the mud. it was already happening and the court case would make it worse.
but the problem was the lost wages. Adam was being given more opportunity as a photographer due to the publicity but if he had to focus on the case then he couldn't do much work. and right now, Maria was finding it hard to work at all. since Maria had come out as Adam's wife to be, news outlets and weirdos had been camping out at the strip club. it made it hard to work at all. the owner had offered to let her work as a bartender instead of a dancer but it just wasn't the work she knew. when it came to the basics, they'd be relying on Maria and so she knew she'd have to take the bartending job. it was the best she could do because Maria knew how this world worked. Adam's wife being a stripper wouldn't do him any favors.]
Do it. Drain them dry, babe. We know the cops fucked up and they know they did, too. We can make it until you get the settlement. I'll take the bar job to get us by. Tom said the tips can get good so I'll be extra charming.
( that was the problem with justice wasn't it? all the loopholes they'll have to jump through, the victim-blaming [as if it wasn't already happening given jigsaw targeted those he saw didn't value life], and all the scrutiny the two would go under. however the lawyer discussed with him that he'd work it in their favorโ the work they did that society viewed as flaws would be used to explain why the police wrote them off, how despite coming from questionable backgrounds, that they loved and adored each other.
he didn't want to explain to maria just how much would be nitpicked about the two, but he's sure she could see it in his eyes and the way he nervously looked at the package. it was like a bomb was in there, waiting and hiding to explode. )
Well um that's the thing Maria, I don't know if this is good news or not but the charity and lawyer both asked me for a favor....
( speaking of workโ he pulled out a set of photos that were inside the package, finally gathering the strength to open it. on them was a photo of the lawyer and two small children, and the rest were of members of the charity with a set of children who were orphans of some of jigsaw's victims. )
They said that if they're going to help me, they were wondering if you'd be open to working for them as a caregiver for these kids? The lawyer's wife died a few years back and he can't focus on them while he's working my case and the other Jigsaw victim's cases. Same with the charity, they're working themselves ragged trying to help us all out.
Apparently with a certain number of kids and a few courses, you could be given a child care giver certificate. They're willing to pay you of course...
( there was a reason he wasn't more bitter and angry, that his emotions now were more just concerned about her and her thoughts about all of this. in spite of the harshness and cruelty society had shown them both surrounding this case, good people had come forth from the woodwork and seemed genuinely vested in helping them both. they'd heard about it allโ from maria being unable to work her job due to the creeps and media attention, the way the media slandered her as a 'gold-digging prostitute' who had adam wrapped around her finger, and the like. )
You can say no anytime Maria, you know this shit is rough...I don't blame you if we need to step back and go at things slowly.
[Maria had already been nitpicked. had already had her name dragged through the mud even before Adam became some commodity for surviving Jigsaw. she was absolutely positive that if she had not been a stripper, maybe someone would have listened to her concerns about Adam. but no, the police had decided to harass her at her job. purposely ask her for lap dances so they could make some big joke of how she had been crying at their station about her missing boyfriend and would be grinding on them that night.
but with the request to help with this charity, well, what looked better than her helping with kids? and Maria did love kids even if she had never seen herself having any (it just never seemed like something that would be for her). she had always gotten along with them, though. always been able to talk so easily with them and keep them entertained when nobody else could.
and she did need a job. justice took so long, too long, and who knew how long it would take until Adam got the justice he did deserve?]
Hey, when I said I'd be your wife that meant saying yes to all this. Every last rough bit. [her lips went to his forehead and she smiled.] And I'll do anything to help you. Including playing glorified babysitter. A job's a job, right? And it's for a good cause. Not like my career is going so well for me right now anyway. Wasn't ever much of one. So I'll do it. Let them know.
( it was far too much for him to find the right words to express the gratitude and overwhelming feeling of hope he felt right now. he'd never been good at expressing himself, with the most of his emotions finally breaking through in those final moments he was in that room with lawrence. only now in the presence of maria that he found himself truly feeling positive about things. all the complaints he'd rattle on about, all of the bitterness he had towards society and the way they'd put down the little man [him], had eroded away in that moment.
he found himself smiling at herโ a nervous expression though because he wasn't sure if this was too much for her. if these requests and all of the suffering she'd gone through because of him was too much. was it even okay to ask her to do this?
yet....he decided to take a chance. )
Maria....
( he sighed a bit, enjoying the warmth of her lips on his forehead before he brushed his nose gently against her own. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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all of these moments allowed him to remain sane during such a difficult time in his life, in the darkness of what was to be his grave. so to finally hear her here and see her left him feeling that he had been given a second chance at life. he wasn't going to mess this up. )
I love you too Maria....I don't want to talk to the cops just yet....but I'll tell you what happened to me because it will explain something I want to ask you.
( was it perhaps too soon? too fast to ask her to commit to him so quickly? maybe it was selfish and stupid, but he was driven to not let his life go to waste anymore. )
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so she simply nods.]
Tell me, I'm here. Tell me as much as you want and need to. I won't ask for anything you don't feel ready to tell.
[doctors had told her not to push him for details (as if she would have) because they said he needed rest. but Adam knew himself and what he needed. if he wanted to tell her things, get them off his chest, she would listen.]
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the hunger, the pain, the loneliness, the more haunting scenes before him. he wasn't quite sure how much he should share with her in fear of traumatizing her in turn, so he remained silent for a brief moment, debating in his mind the best approach.
finally with a shaky breath he turned to maria and nodded in return to her. )
I'm going to tell you everything because I....I survived thinking of you. Wanting to come home to you and our cat, and wanting a future with you. If you want to leave me after all of this, fine but you need to know what happened.
( 'so that you don't think I just abandoned you', he thought before he sat up a bitโ small whine escaping his lips from the pain. )
That serial killer Jigsaw, that fucker....he got me. He kidnapped because I was taking photos of that doctor who was cheating on his wife, the one I told you about. He locked me in a room with him, chained our ankles and left hacksaws by our feet. He told me that I had to prove I had the will to live, that I wasn't just some voyeur living through other people.
( he paused briefly, only to gauge maria's reaction. when it seemed like she was listening and following along, he continued on. )
He stuck the doctor in there because he was cheating on his wife and kinda pined us against each other....I had to tell him I knew who he was and what he had done. The sick bastard, Jigsaw made us go through a series of trials that revealed more information but ultimately the only way to escape was by using the hacksaw....
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and as his story goes on, the dread of what he went through rises. there was a brief moment of pure joy in knowing he thought of her even then but it is tainted with horror. it upsets her to know this is what he had to go through. that goddamn lunatic had gotten her Adam. for what seemed like an insanely mindless reason. Maria could understand that others may look down on Adam's line of work, she knew Adam wasn't happy with it himself, but it seemed ridiculous to take him for that. if she ever got her hands on this Jigsaw...
when he mentions the hacksaw, her stomach plummets and her mind jumps to the obvious answer: Jigsaw had wanted them to remove a foot. but Adam had both of his. though it was obvious he'd been hurt on top of the malnutrition and other horrors his person had gone through.
Maria doesn't want to say anything, afraid of talking too much and having Adam go too quiet. right now seemed like he had to say a lot so with her eyes, she urges him that she is listening. and he can continue. she won't stop listening.]
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instead the vision of lawrence finally breaking down and saying he needed to get to his family began to fill his vision. he reached for the hacksaw and began to cut off his own foot to escape. adam remembered the blood, the screaming that seemed to either come from him or the doctor, and how the man had dragged himself across the floor to get to him. his hands had reached out to adam to comfort him some, promising to come back for him.
but he never did come back. )
I.....I uh.....I can't. I can't tell you what happened next. Not yet.
( his breathing started to become heavier, hands fumbling as he attempted to reach out for her, but it was clear that whatever was running in his mind had left him a nervous and worried wreck. )
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You talk when you want to. I don't expect you to tell me everything right now. Or tomorrow. Or even a month from now. It doesn't matter to me when you do it. If you ever. All that matters to me is you're here with me right now. [and she meant every word of that. Maria had been terrified of losing him and to simply see him? that was all that she needed.]
I love you so much. You didn't deserve this. Nothing you ever could have done made you deserving of that. I want you to know.
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well it left him genuinely feeling loved. he closed his eyes as she spoke, squeezing far tighter than he should [almost to the point where he was seeing stars], but it was all he could do to keep from falling apart. to avoid having a breakdown from the sights he was forced to see...to being abandoned without care by a man he actually went out of his way to help and comfort.
when it was his turn to lose his shit in that room well, he had no one. )
I love you too that's why I.....
( and like before, he had the worst timing and yet he couldn't help it. he needed to make his true feelings and intentions known just in case he didn't survive the night. )
I want you to be my wife. In that room I realized I've been fucking wasting my time, wasting yours dragging my feet around being so terrified to tell you my feelings. But you're actually here now, you waited for me. You're the only person I can trust.
So I want us to be real, official....whatever the fuck we want to call it. I just don't want to waste anymore time.
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until Adam. who had his own big emotions though he had very good reason for his. Maria could only imagine what facing death had done to him, the fear and all of the regrets that must have been rattling around in his mind as each second ticked by. as Adam thought he got closer and closer to death. Maria couldn't even begin to understand what that would be like. all she could do was sympathize with him and let him know she was here for him. but the fact remained that what Adam went through was so unique and had made him realize so many things...
like this. again, it's not the time or place. he's just gotten free and he's in such bad shape. Maria isn't even entirely sure if this is how he feels because of how close he came to death but she doesn't doubt it's genuine. that he wants her to be his. Maria knows that Adam must want it as much as she wants him and it does make her heart soar in a way she never thought somebody could make her feel.]
At least you're not asking through text. But I didn't think I'd be proposed to in a hospital room. Guess I should count my blessings. [it's a small joke because she thinks he might like it. she leans in to kiss him softly.] I want to be your wife. I've always wanted that, babe. Just to be yours. I knew I was in it for the long haul with you. I don't know if now is the time to do anything about this but I want you to know I feel the same. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
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right here in this hospital bed, covered in endless bruises, appearance far beyond disheveled and sickly? he wasn't expecting a blow. if she turned him down and found it too much of a burden to now have a partner who was traumatized beyond belief and would take some time to recover, then so be it. at least now he could rub it in that serial killer's [or torturer rather] face. he had won that shitty game and he was now actually proving he valued his life enough to actually try and live it.
as silence filled the air around them, adam gently swallowed down a nervous lump in this throat. he didn't care what her answer was because he would still love and support her regardless. all he had to do now was not pass out before the answer cameโ )
Sorry my timing isn't always the best.
( her joke is matched by his own but soon he fell silent as he felt that kiss rolling in, her answer following behind. he didn't move much for now, simply keeping his gaze on her as his future began to brighten up with hope. the darkness that filled it before, the visions of death and torture that seemed to linger were now slowly fading away. )
Really? I uh....you know when you first approached me at the club I thought you might have been messing with me. Do you know how many times I thought about that night while I was trapped? I kept thanking God that I had the courage to approach you and ask you out you know? I never fucking thought you know that we'd be here.
( his expression finally did seem to improve a bitโ in fact he was this close to telling her to bring the paperwork to the hospital. he didn't care, he just wanted to do it before anything else happened. )
I'm the luckiest guy alive really....and Mr. Whiskers is going to be our ring bearer okay?
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We didn't know it then but I was yours as soon as we spoke. And you were mine. I consider myself just as lucky as you. Someone to accept me, all my text messages, and how you don't mind that I can't calm down when I love you so much. [so many men had always found her annoying when she did that. always a matter of liking them more than they cared for her. or just wanting sex from her. Maria had never thought she would find someone like Adam, who seemed to view her as some kind of angel that graced his life. how the police had treated her, talking down to her because she was a stripper; that had always been what she was used to.
there was no way Maria would have given up on him and nothing was changing that even now.]
I don't know how you make a cat a ring bearer but we'll figure it out. He's missed you too, you know.
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what mattered was the outcome of their meeting and it was here in this moment, free from being close to death that he felt grateful that she approached him first. he probably wouldn't have at all and not because of her profession or anything; in that moment he just knew rejection was always waiting him.
not now though, there was none of that. )
That's because I love you so much too. It makes my day seeing all your silly thoughts...I kept thinking about them there.
( in that room where he was being held prisoner of course. )
Crazy thing about fate right? I couldn't in a million years imagine that uh....we'd really be here talking about marriage after that first hello.
( it was cheesy in a way really but that's what he needed now when his mind and body were so fragile. )
Did he? Fuck...( and don't mind a tear or two escaping him as he thought about his cat. dejected and broken much like he was now when he found himโ adam had been the only one to give the poor guy a chance and now it seemed the tables were turned. maria was the one saving adam now. )
I missed you both so much really. I'm never letting either of you go even if I get taken kicking and screaming again.
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and it made her happy to know that he could love her despite how clingy she knew she was at time. desperate to be reminded that he liked her, liked all of her thoughts, and didn't mind she needed that. most of the men she had been involved with had never been able to stand it. Adam was different.]
I didn't think so either. And there's probably some rule for how long you're supposed to wait but I don't care about that. [he could have asked her before he disappeared and she would have said yes.] When you know, you know, right? [and she knew. she always had.]
You think we're letting you go? Listen you thought I was clingy before, I'm not letting you out of my sight even if you tell me I'm annoying you. I don't care. Mr. Whiskers is your guard cat at this point. And he probably won't want to be leaving you either.
doing a little time-skippy
( all he could do was smile at her, face swollen and bruised from the injuries he faced but past the ugly reminders of what he was put through, all he could do was bask in the happiness of this moment. what he asked of her was a blind request with no expectations of reciprocation of an actual answer anytime soon. with her saying yes, his heart felt healed for onceโ all of the angst and bitterness he had towards the world was quelled right then and there, and even if he was still a bit angry with jigsaw, he couldn't help but thank him in a weird way.
he certainly would have gone a darker path if it weren't for that wake up call in reality. he would have found a way to ruin things with maria, he's sure of it, led to them breaking up and another cycle of depression and apathy for him. instead he had the courage now to tell her how he felt and what he wanted, and as she affirmed her love for him, he looked at her with eyes full of love and passion. )
When have I ever told you that you were annoying me? I love all the attention you give me.
( certainly far more private and personal than the attention she gave to customersโ but as they sat there, nurses began to fill the room, noticing the change in his heartbeat [excitement from what they had discussed] and ushered maria out in order to bring in the police. jigsaw was hot on their trail, and adam was a new key witness for them to prod and probe.
โ
a month had passed since adam had crawled his way out of that dark room and made his desperate escape back to the apartment he knew. there were a number of unique changes that occurred in his life after being set free into the world, changes he could have never handled on his own without maria. apart from the police threatening him, accusing him of somehow being compliant in his own abduction given he had taken photos of the other captive, there was a strange popularity surrounding him. he was being contacted for work he had never even considered beforeโ photographing at events such as weddings, escape rooms, being offered a chance to talk about his experience on day-time talk shows, and being asked to call into all kinds of radio stations to talk with other 'survivors' and form some kind of jigsaw survivor group.
what he was focused on now though was his new life with maria, and getting compensation for the ordeal the city and law enforcement put her through. )
Hey babe, can you get me a pack of smokes when you get a chance?
( by now the two had settled into a new apartment with money provided by local charities and organizations. his wounds had mostly healed by now, but his leg still required to be in a cast and he was mostly wobbling around their home with a crutch in hand. the kindness he so rarely saw from humanity was now in full swing, with local organizations offering both help to him and maria, even offering to fund a wedding dress for her upon hearing the news.
currently he was in the kitchen, tv on low towards a news channel talking about jigsaw and his newest kidnappees, a group of former criminals on parole. he watched briefly before turning it off as maria walked in. )
I uh....got the documents faxed over to me right now. If you wanted to go over it but we do need a witness. You said you had a twin sister right? Think she'd come?
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but after the terror of what she went through, fearing him lost to her forever and feeling like she had nobody to help her; having so much charity was a reminder that not all was bad. that there was always some good. even if the police were as awful as always, that would probably never change, but they had each other.
the new apartment was definitely an upgrade and even the fact people were offering to help her with a dress. there had been offers to make it this huge extravagant wedding but Maria wasn't interested in that. mostly because if it got any bigger then that would take time and Maria didn't want to wait. part of her was still afraid of him disappearing again and if she didn't do something about this right away then he'd just be gone. that was an irrational fear and she'd definitely gotten a little more clingy, much more worrying if he had to go anywhere by himself.
when she entered where he was, she did hear the new information about Jigsaw's latest victims before Adam turned it off. she hated they still couldn't find him, still didn't stop him. again, the thought entered her mind that if the police had just listened to her then maybe--
but it was a pointless thought to still be so angry over. not when she had Adam, not when he wanted to marry her and was working on it.
she hands him the pack of cigarettes she got for him and kisses his temple.] She'd come, she'd be more than happy to come. Mary helped me with your missing posters. [one of the two people who had helped her, the other being Tom the bartender.]
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after all, that was the gift being a victim and surviving the game gave him. it made him a target for anyone who either wanted to interview him and get as much of the story as they could, or anyone who wanted to taunt him for his ordeal.
those thoughts and fears were pushed to the side for now though, because as soon as she entered the room, the darkness that loomed from the news was drowned out by the brightness of her arrival. she truly was a bright light in his life. )
Did she? I need to thank her properly and introduce myself.
( he took the pack from her, giving it one tap against the counter, then another before opening it with one hand and flicking a stick out of it into his mouth. for now he nursed it between his lips, thinking how things were now changing between each other.
families to meet one another and proper introductions to be made. judgements to feel and ignore, all of that jazz and while a past version of himself might have scoffed at the idea of such domestic endeavors, now he felt excited about it. )
Feels kinda silly that our first meeting is gonna be 'Hey I'm that dude whose gonna marry your sister and also survived being tortured.'
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part of her knew that Adam needed her to worry for him. even if they did never talk about it too much or she made a big show of it, only clung to him, it was good for Adam to know Maria wasn't going anywhere.
as if accepting his proposal hadn't shown just how serious she was about staying with him.]
Hardly, babe. [she rested her head lightly on his shoulder.] Mary's a romantic and she's sweet. I know she's wanted to meet you and kept asking me. [but when was a good time to introduce your traumatized fiancรฉ? there wasn't one and Maria knew Adam needed to have some control as well. the last thing Maria had wanted to do was stress him out all the more.]
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as they stood there, he fiddled with the pack of smokes, closing it as he wriggled the smoke already on his lips away from her and towards the opposite end of his mouth. )
Did she?
( it's an old habit from a different time, when he was still insecure and unsure of where things were going with maria, but he couldn't help but be surprised this 'mary' knew about him at all. still he's quick to laugh, placing the pack of smokes on the counter. )
Well I don't want to keep my dear 'sister' waiting for me for very long. Let's do it, before we get married. Besides we need witnesses and I'd rather ask them than take up Oprah on her little 'offer'.
( he was more stressed by all the interviews and grandiose displays of charity and kindness everyone was suddenly showing him. he took it a bit bitterly; angry that they only showed up when he was now known for such a terrible thing, but he also wasn't outright saying now to them. they both needed as much help as they could get given he technically had to retire from his line of work now. )
Uh so....I've never really met any of my girlfriend's families. Should I wear like a suit and tie? Bring flowers? Help me out here future wifey.
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her head remains on his shoulder as he talks to her.] Fuck Oprah honestly. [or anybody else that interviewed Adam. the publicity was a double-edged sword. it helped in some ways, got their story out there and got Adam help. but she knew it just made him relive his worst moments. the media were like vultures, wanting to pick apart him and his story. it wasn't fair. but until Adam was old news, this was their life.
and Maria wouldn't be leaving him.
though she was also stuck. she was the fiancee of the man who escaped Jigsaw. the first time she tried to work at the bar, it had been a nightmare. certainly didn't help Adam any and so she couldn't work much either. Maria had to figure out what she was going to do for money in her very limited skill set.]
As much as I think you'd be very cute in your suit and tie, I don't think black tie is the style we're going for. Just dress like you always do. Be yourself. Be the man I'm proud to be marrying.
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Alright, old band-tee and jeans, got it.
( he rolled his head to the side a bit, cigarette pushed off to the side of his mouth as he gently rubbed the tip of his nose against her forehead. it seemed they both had similar worries, because soon enough adam was reaching for a package that came in the mail. )
Speaking of, I have something I wanted to discuss with you. It's about this whole Jigsaw and corrupt, shitty cops thing I've been going through. Can we uh...sit in the living room?
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That's the man I'm marrying and the man they'll meet.
[she didn't want him to be anybody else. she would love every version of him.
when he takes out the package, she eyes it and there's worry there in her eyes. even if she knew that by marrying Adam, by continuing to stay with him, meant marrying this...it didn't mean she didn't wish it would stop.] Yeah, come on. [she moved to help him get up. just a natural action now.]
Guessing this isn't a fun wedding present, is it? [she jokes as she helps him get to the living room so they can sit.]
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he also had trauma but he'd prefer this. to her movements though, he limped alongside her and made his way into the living room as their cat trailed along, purring against maria's legs before scooting off to the couch. it'd become natural to him too; providing comfort to them both through affection and remaining close. it seemed adam's disappearance had an affect on mr. whiskers as well. )
Well actually here's the funny thing, if I agree to it, it could be.
( this was clearly something serious. once they were in the living room, he fell back onto the couch and let out a soft grunt as he adjusted himself. with the package in his hand, she looked over to maria. )
So here's the thing. I got approached by this lawyer who said he helped this other Jigsaw victim you know? He said the guy's case was fumbled by the cops and he helped get him a good settlement but he had only been missing for a day and ended up having to uh.....well let's say he wasn't injured and left for death for almost a month.
I wanted your opinion on this because it's going to be one hell of a battle. Court visits, gas money, the works. He said this charity would help with the bills until we got our settlement but they can't pay for basic stuff like food or lost wages you know?
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Maria wasn't a legal genius but she thought she knew what an easy win was.
but the problem was this wasn't going to be an easy win now was it? Adam would have to relive how much trauma? and Maria knew she'd be questioned as well. she was part of this as the woman he was marrying, not to mention as the person to report his disappearance. it had been Maria to first notice that Adam was missing and she knew it was easy to point fingers at her. both of their names would be slung through the mud. it was already happening and the court case would make it worse.
but the problem was the lost wages. Adam was being given more opportunity as a photographer due to the publicity but if he had to focus on the case then he couldn't do much work. and right now, Maria was finding it hard to work at all. since Maria had come out as Adam's wife to be, news outlets and weirdos had been camping out at the strip club. it made it hard to work at all. the owner had offered to let her work as a bartender instead of a dancer but it just wasn't the work she knew. when it came to the basics, they'd be relying on Maria and so she knew she'd have to take the bartending job. it was the best she could do because Maria knew how this world worked. Adam's wife being a stripper wouldn't do him any favors.]
Do it. Drain them dry, babe. We know the cops fucked up and they know they did, too. We can make it until you get the settlement. I'll take the bar job to get us by. Tom said the tips can get good so I'll be extra charming.
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he didn't want to explain to maria just how much would be nitpicked about the two, but he's sure she could see it in his eyes and the way he nervously looked at the package. it was like a bomb was in there, waiting and hiding to explode. )
Well um that's the thing Maria, I don't know if this is good news or not but the charity and lawyer both asked me for a favor....
( speaking of workโ he pulled out a set of photos that were inside the package, finally gathering the strength to open it. on them was a photo of the lawyer and two small children, and the rest were of members of the charity with a set of children who were orphans of some of jigsaw's victims. )
They said that if they're going to help me, they were wondering if you'd be open to working for them as a caregiver for these kids? The lawyer's wife died a few years back and he can't focus on them while he's working my case and the other Jigsaw victim's cases. Same with the charity, they're working themselves ragged trying to help us all out.
Apparently with a certain number of kids and a few courses, you could be given a child care giver certificate. They're willing to pay you of course...
( there was a reason he wasn't more bitter and angry, that his emotions now were more just concerned about her and her thoughts about all of this. in spite of the harshness and cruelty society had shown them both surrounding this case, good people had come forth from the woodwork and seemed genuinely vested in helping them both. they'd heard about it allโ from maria being unable to work her job due to the creeps and media attention, the way the media slandered her as a 'gold-digging prostitute' who had adam wrapped around her finger, and the like. )
You can say no anytime Maria, you know this shit is rough...I don't blame you if we need to step back and go at things slowly.
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but with the request to help with this charity, well, what looked better than her helping with kids? and Maria did love kids even if she had never seen herself having any (it just never seemed like something that would be for her). she had always gotten along with them, though. always been able to talk so easily with them and keep them entertained when nobody else could.
and she did need a job. justice took so long, too long, and who knew how long it would take until Adam got the justice he did deserve?]
Hey, when I said I'd be your wife that meant saying yes to all this. Every last rough bit. [her lips went to his forehead and she smiled.] And I'll do anything to help you. Including playing glorified babysitter. A job's a job, right? And it's for a good cause. Not like my career is going so well for me right now anyway. Wasn't ever much of one. So I'll do it. Let them know.
And you? Full steam ahead, babe.
crawling back to this months later โก
he found himself smiling at herโ a nervous expression though because he wasn't sure if this was too much for her. if these requests and all of the suffering she'd gone through because of him was too much. was it even okay to ask her to do this?
yet....he decided to take a chance. )
Maria....
( he sighed a bit, enjoying the warmth of her lips on his forehead before he brushed his nose gently against her own. )
What would I do without you? Seriously?
also coming back to this months later โก